Rants about work

why is it impossible for people to do a few things to ensure a good and productive work environment? i know that i am probably culpable of a few mistakes from time to time in my daily work life but good LORD! here i offer a few bits of sound advise to hopefully keep me from wanting to stab you in the eye.

1. meetings - come in with some sort of knowledge of what the meeting is about. i don't want to hear about how you have been stuck in rush hour/had a slow waitress/emergency phone call regarding your tv that blew up/cable that went out/plumbing that exploded as the reason behind why you couldn't have possibly prepared your 3 line report on what we needed done today. you knew about this meeting 2 weeks ahead of time, stop your yapping on IM and get to work. and speaking of timeframes ...

2. be a little more empathic of other peoples' time. no, 3 minutes is not enough time to create the power point presentation for the sales team to take to the tradeshow that i just found out about 5 minutes ago. because our company is so cheap i have a computer that takes up half my work space and is as slow as a fucking dinosaur - don't expect me to be able to redesign our logo, compute sales figures, create advertising bar charts and forecast all the potential leads in any time less than 4 days.

3. please give me any and all details BEFORE i start the priority number 1 project. i am not a lazy ass - i am more than willing to work 12 hours on your project (and have), but i will get a little pissy if i have to do the entire thing over because you realized that the pink shade of the logo was, well, just not pink ENOUGH ... speaking of stupid

4. remember what it is our company does. no i do not think that handing out flyers for our company that designs wiggets for old peoples homes at the Ozzfest is going to be the best use of my time. don't get me wrong, i'll sit there and have a grand old time bebopping along to music that is more my speed than the stuff piped in at the office, but i can tell you right now that the last thing on these kids' minds is old people (Ozzie doesn't count)

5. yes, i know, i'm a girl that doesn't necessarily look like corporate america. if you must look at me and try to figure out the tattoos, then please do it and get it over with. there is no need to do it constantly nor reflect on it since i do not show those things in my work attire. yes i know you know i have them, yes i know you think that it's strange/weird/freakish/intriguing whatever. i actually think the way you get your hair all slicked down is kinda icky but i don't sit there and stare at it every chance i get. grow up and let's get our jobs done - i can do mine, that's why i'm here, hidden tattoos and all.

6. yes, i know, i'm a girl. different than #5 but no less frustrating. yes, i have boobs, yes, i have a bikini area different than yours. no i will not show you either. the one thing i will show you is the fact that i have a brain ... deal with it.

now if we all can get those things out of the way ... i have a presentation to complete, the pink in it isn't perfect yet.