My country tis of … them?

I have been comically stating that I would move if bush was reelected … move out of the country … leave my home, my friends, my identity thus far … because of an outcome that I thought improbable.

Now, as I sit and try to regroup, the thought that should still seem laughable is actually relevant. Could I leave everything behind? Could I start fresh and feel good about it? I am torn between the feeling of disassociation with my motherland and the guilt that I have for having no sense of loyalty to it.

As we were watching the results come in last night; me & *d* in one place, matt in another, on the phone frantically cussing out the stupidity that was being shown to us; matt & I started talking about the move that we had been joking about. He had some interesting points (as he usually does).

Is one man more important than my country? Or is my country more important than one man?

I would normally have stated that no man is bigger nor more important than my country and all of the people who live within it, but this election has proven that theory empty to me. The election has proven that our country is this man. That we, as a country, have gotten what we wanted and what we deserve.

So is my country big enough to realize that certain things that I find fundamentally right, to be sacred? Do they think that human rights should be held up before any sort of religious ones? Are the rights of millions of females, some not even born yet, being subverted because of what one man/country has decided is morally the right path? Will our sex lives become public in hopes that we can eliminate any sort of objectionable behavior that may or may not be ok’d by one group of people?

Because I do not have these answers nor do I even profess to be CLOSE to being able to find these answers, the beckoning of another country sounds ever more comforting.

I have ties to different spots through family. I could easily move to 2 different countries and gain citizenship fairly easily. But, am I just exchanging one problem for another? Am I just running away from problems that I told myself long ago that I wouldn’t run from? That I would fight til my dying breath to make certain that the things I believe in will never be taken from someone.

Please don’t get me wrong, I do love my country. I love all that we have come from, the adversary, the oppression, the ignorance. But I love my rights, my children’s’ rights, my grandchildren’s’ rights, etc, more.

Yesterday made me feel like running away … today might hold something else.

But just in case, I need more winter coats.